Falling Apart Together
by Sk1dr0we
Summary: AU where after Amy revealed that she slept with Liam to hurt Karma they don't talk again. This takes place when Amy first goes to college. I'm going to try and work both Reagan and Karma in at some point.
1. Chapter 1

**Falling Apart Together**

Amy almost fell out of her chair as the moving truck braked hard. It seemed they'd finally arrived at her new home for the next 4 years. Raindrops fell softly on the roof, reminding her that she had left Texas.

Farrah held the door open, so she jumped out and took in her surroundings. It looked like every college ever, with rolling green fields of grass, now damp from the rain, and large old buildings.

"Alright Amy, you're room is over in the C block, on the second floor. If we're quick, you might be done moving in by 3 PM! Then you could get settled in, meet some of your neighbors…"

Amy had stopped listening after the first part. She knew her mother meant well, but it was just so tiring that she kept on trying to push her to get to know other people. Admittedly, after she stopped seeing Karma, her social life had been incredibly dull. She had kept hanging out with Shane, but he had other friends , so whenever he wasn't available, she'd just stay at home, rewatching soaps on Netflix.

As they made their way to the building, Amy gradually became more excited. College was THE place to meet new people after all. She had already met one, her new roommate. His name was Dale, and when Farrah had found out that she was going to live in a co-ed dorm room, she'd been besides herself with happiness. She really hoped Amy could be turned, led away from the dark side.

Amy didn't really care about the co-ed thing, and Dale seemed nice enough. They had chatted a bit already, and they got along quite well.

Her thoughts were interrupted by her mom opening the door for her. Only two floors separated her from her new room, and her heart started beating faster. It was a new start for her, something she had so desperately wished for last year.

"Amy! Over here!"

Dale had entered the building just after them.

"Hey Dale, did you just arrive?"

"I've been here for two days already actually, I already got settled in and everything. Come on up, I'll show you the room. "

She followed him up the stairs, and entered her room. It was smaller than it had looked on the college's website, but it had a cosy feel to it.

"I hope you don't mind the posters and stuff, I can take them down if you want." He talked like he looked, really laid-back and "chill". Now she felt stupid for thinking someone looked "chill", but it was just the right word for him.

"Nah, the posters are alright." She said, trying to be cool. "So, have you heard anything from our neighbours?"

"Nothing yet, I think we're one of the first people here. Most people will be arriving tomorrow. Well, if you need anything, you've got my number. I'm going to get dinner with my family now, gotta say farewell and all."

"Oh, see you I guess."

As he walked out the door, Amy couldn't help but notice how he smelled like freshly ground coffee beans.

"Are you gonna be alright sweetie?", Farrah asked while stepping into the room. "It sure is nice in here, but I should be going now. They're waiting for me back home. Call me tomorrow, okay?"

"Of course, and tell Lauren I said hi." Lauren had enrolled in the same college, but due to some administrative problems her housing wasn't arranged yet and she had to wait another week before she could actually move in.

The lights of Farrah's car briefly illuminated the driveway, and then she was gone, leaving Amy alone in her new room in a new college in a new town.

For the first time in a long while, she missed Karma.

_-sk1dr0we_

**_Author's Notes: _**_Don't worry, I'm not going to do an "Amy is straight" thing, but I feel like __it shouldn't be black and white either. _

_If you have any suggestions about the direction of the story, I always answer PM's. (I could also really use some advice)_


	2. Chapter 2

She'd went to bed early last night, tired of moving all her boxes and unpacking her stuff. She hadn't even woken up when Dale came in that night.

Looking to her side, she saw him breathing slowly, a bit of drool hanging from the corner of his mouth.

He was cute, she tought, but in a boyish way. She shook of the last traces of sleep and stood up to take a shower.

After she'd freshened up, she went to the main hall to find some breakfast, leaving her room silently as to not wake Dale up.

There were some more people in the hall, eating something that resembled scrambled eggs with bacon.

"Hey, excuse me, but I'm new here and I don't really know how this works. Do I just go up there and grab some food?" A black girl with purple extensions had come up to here, looking a bit scared.

"I have no idea to be honest, I'm new too. Just grabbing food sounds good though. I'm Amy by the way."

"Oh, sorry. I'm Raven. Nice to meet you." She immediately started smiling, as though Amy was some relative she was really happy to see.

Together they went up to the buffet and started putting things on their plate.

"So Raven, what classes are you taking?" She tried to break the somewhat awkward silence that had set in by starting some small-talk.

"I'm going for an English major (she giggled softly as she said that, as if it was something silly to say) and I'm mostly taking fiction-writing classes."

"Seriously? I'm taking fiction-writing too. Ms. Earlhardt is our tutor, right?"

"Exactly! Looks like we're going to be in the same class. My sister went here too, and she said that Ms. Earlhardt is a complete bitch (again with the little giggle, and her eyes twinkled) and that she grades completely unfairly. I don't mind though, I like a challenge."

"Challenge or not, I really need some easy classes. I'm on a scholarship, and I can't afford to lose it."

Amy felt Raven looking at her with a look that bordered on pity.

"It's not like that" she quickly said. "My family can pay for me, and they offered. I just wanted to try and do it myself, learning to deal with responsibilities and all that."

"That's pretty cool of you, though I wouldn't want to take your place. So, do you live in the A block too?"

"Nope, I'm staying in C"

She looked up at Amy, surprised. "Isn't that a co-ed dorm?"

"Yeah, but I don't mind. I have a really nice roommate and I'm not really interested in guys anyway."

Raven looked puzzled for a second, then realized what Amy was talking about.

"Oh. Oooh. I see." She quickly realized how she was acting and tried to change the subject.

"Are you coming to the freshmen party tonight? Pretty much everyone that's already here is coming."

Amy was a bit confused about the sudden change in Raven's attitude, and she definitely wasn't a big fan of parties. Then again, Raven seemed nice enough, and she needed to meet some new people.

"Why not? I'll be there, even though my dancing is terrible."

They talked a little more, and then Raven went back to her dorm to unpack the last of her boxes.

Amy went back to her dorm as well after that, and as soon as she entered the main hall, she heard a soft crying. She hurried upstairs and the crying grew stronger. It definitely came from her room.

She quietly opened the door and saw Dale sitting on his bed, a few tears rolling from his face.

He turned around and embarrassedly wiped his face. "Dale? What's going on?"

"It's … _uhmm_… my girlfriend broke up with me a few minutes ago. Over the phone. She didn't even bother to tell me in person…" A few tears had started to roll from his face again. "We were together for 4 years. Did that mean nothing to her?"

Amy desperately tried to find something comforting to say, something that would cheer him up.

Instead, she asked: "Couldn't she handle the long distance thing?"

"That's the thing: She's studying here too. She lives in our building, one floor down." He looked utterly devastated.

"Shit, Dale, I don't know what to say. Is there anything I can do?"

"No, I don't know. I just want to get my mind off of her, I need some distraction."

"Hey, this might be a little soon, but apparently there's some freshmen party tonight, that might help?"

He looked up at her, and something like a smile was starting to show on his face.

"That would be perfect."

_-sk1dr0we_

**_Author's Notes:_** _Not a lot going on in this chapter, and I'm pretty bad at dialogue. I'm working on that though, and I'm really liking where the next chapter is headed. Expect a familiar face next chapter! (As usual, feel free to message me with any suggestions, I'm still unsure about the general direction of this story. Tell me what endgame you'd like!)  
><em>


	3. Chapter 3

_**-Author's Notes:**__ 300 views for my first fic already?! I can't thank you guys enough, and please do keep the suggestions coming. I'm trying to work them all in at some point, and I've gotten some really good ideas from you so far. _

She had changed her outfit three times and her hair twice, and she still wasn't exactly satisfied with how she looked. She realized that it didn't really matter, and most people there were going to be so drunk they wouldn't even notice her anyway. Although she knew all that, she still wanted to look good.

Dale had just got back from work, and was trying on different outfits as well.

"Dale, it's almost 9 PM. We should get going. You don't want all the single girls to be taken when we get there do you?"

She'd been surprised at how quickly Dale had gotten over his breakup. Maybe he was just pretending, but after he had got back from work, he had seemed a lot more cheerful.

"I'm going as fast as I can Amy, don't stress me. Just one more button… Alright, let's go!"

He walked up on her while she was fixing the last part of her hair. "You look, excuse me for the cliché line, amazing. But I don't think that doing that thing with your hair again and again is really going to make a difference."

She blushed a little, glanced at her reflection one last time and followed Dale out the dorm.

It had finally stopped raining, but there were still puddles everywhere. Amy was really starting to regret the high heels she was wearing now, and she could barely keep up with Dale. Soon her breathing was puffed.

"Not so fast! I'm no good as a dancer if I faint out here!"

Dale slowed down after that, and they both walked on in comfortable silence.

She heard the party long before she saw it. The unmistakable bassline of a dance song being played way too loud. Then the lights reached her eye. Someone had written out "Welcome Freshmen" in neon. There were easily a hundred people standing and dancing outside the house, and they all seemed to be having a good time.

Amy looked at Dale and said: "Well, you wanted to get over your girlfriend, this seems like the place to do it."

"I'm not really sure I'm ready for this though…" Amy wasn't used to being the one who was actually trying to get someone else to a party, so she just pulled him with her.

"Come on Dale, I don't want to be all alone in there. Let's just have fun." The look on her face quickly stopped Dale's objections.

The music got louder as they approached the building, and when Amy opened the door she was greeted by an explosion of sound. The smell of beer and weed hung in the air, and fluorescent lights pierced the thin smoke that hung in the house. Some guy waved at Dale and after agreeing on where to meet after the party, he went over to him.

Amy had wanted to meet new people, but right now she just needed a familiar face. She went looking for Raven, and luckily her purple extensions made her easy to find. She was standing next to a pretty brunette, and seeing her wavy hair immediately reminded Amy of Karma. Shaking off the memory, she went over to them

"Amy! I was starting to doubt you'd show at all!" She looked from Amy to her brunette friend. "Oh, right. Amy, this is Felicia. Felicia, Amy. Felicia's my roommate, and we went to college prep together."

Amy and Felicia exchanged greetings, and Felicia went to grab some drinks. Amy's eyes must have lingered a bit too long, because Raven was giggling again.

"Stare all you want, but Felicia is religious as fuck. She wouldn't even think about doing anything that goes against her precious holy book."

"Just for the record, I wasn't thinking about that. You don't sound too fond of her though."

"No, no, she's amazing. The religion thing is literally the only bad thing I can say about her. That and she snores like a hippo, but you get used to it."

Felicia returned with their drinks and the three of them were quite for a while. Felicia broke the silence by saying "Have you guys seen the DJ yet? She' a third year, DJ Rachel or something, I forgot. She's amazing, apparently she's got a sponsorship from Monstercat Records."

Now that she mentioned it, the music was good. Amy was already moving to the rhythm, and she felt an urge to join the dancing crowd. Then she realized that she had heard this particular song before. Two years ago, to be exact. During what was one of the best months of her life. "Felicia, this DJ. Could it be that her name is Reagan?"

"Yeah, that's her name! Reagan, Rachel, I wasn't that far off…" Raven had noticed the sudden change in Amy's mood. "Do you know this Reagan, Amy?"

"We used to be… friends." They had of course been more than friends. After she had proclaimed her love for Karma and had gotten her heart broken, Reagan had been there to put it back together. She was one of only two people that she'd ever been in love with. But Reagan had felt like Amy had never gotten over Karma, and in a way, that had been true. Eventually Reagan couldn't handle having Karma around all the time, and when Amy was asked to choose between the two of them, she had picked Karma. Even though their friendship had ended a week after that, Amy had never felt like she'd made the wrong choice.

"Excuse me, but I just remembered I have to… uhm… be home on time. See you two!" As Amy hurried to find Dale, she realized how totally unbelievable her excuse had been. Too bad, she thought. She'd explain it to Raven later. She would have to make up another excuse for Felicia however, because she didn't think she was going to tell her she was into girls anytime soon.

She pushed some sweaty guys out the way, dodged a couple that was kissing like it was their last day on earth and ducked under a guy with eight beers in his arms just to run into Dale.

"Dale, I-"

"Look, I'm sorry but my ex is here and I'd really like to get out of here."

"Yeah, same story here. Let's go."

They ran towards the exit, which unfortunately meant passing by the DJ table. Right in front of it Dale stopped.

"Dale, I really need to go like NOW!"

"Julie, my ex… She's right there." He pointed at a blonde girl not 10 feet from them. "Oh god, who's that guy with her?" Dale looked like he was about to burst into tears, and to make matters worse, Julie spotted him, looked him right in the eyes and kissed the guy that was holding her hand. Then Dale looked at Amy, sputtered "I'm sorry, I'll make it up to you" and kissed her.

She was immediately reminded that she did not like guys. He tasted like burnt coffee and his body odor was so strong she almost couldn't breathe. She heard the music stop around her and in the corner of her eye she saw a girl coming down from the DJ booth. Dale finally backed off, and she was almost too scared to turn around. Then she heard a familiar voice whimper "Shrimp?".

_-sk1dr0we_

**_-Author's Notes:_** _I hate to leave you guys with a cliffhanger, but the holidays are coming up and I'm not sure if I'll be able to update in the next 2-3 days. I'm also trying to make my chapters slightly longer, so I might have to change to a chapter 3 times a week instead of a chapter every night._

_Again, thanks for reading!_


	4. Chapter 4

**-****_1000+ views?! Thank you guys so much! I can't believe my first fic is reaching this big an audience! Anyway, enjoy the next chapter_**

Amy just couldn't handle this right now. Reagan had always been scared she'd been just a phase to Amy, no matter how many times she'd explained that she really loved her. Seeing her kiss a boy would be devastating for Reagan, no matter how long ago they'd broken up.

"Amy? Hey, I'm talking to you! The least you can do is look me in the eye!" She could hear the how hurt Reagan was. A crowd had formed around them and Amy just couldn't explain this to her, not with all these strangers looking at her.

She turned around, but she couldn't bring herself to meet Reagan's gaze. Glancing down, she just said "Call me, I can explain. I swear I can explain" before running out. She kept running all the way to her dorm, jogging up the stairs, not stopping until she reached her bed. She didn't even bother to take of her clothes, she just wanted to sleep.

The blaring of an alarm startled her and disoriented she looked around the room.

"Wha- ,what's going on?" Dale seemed to be awake too, and he smacked the alarm with such force that she didn't know if he pressed the off-button or just smashed the damn thing.

"First day of class, Amy! We can't be late. Look, about what happened yesterday… You have no idea how sorry I am, and I promise I'll find a way to make it up to you. It's just that seeing Julie again… It didn't bring out the best in me."

Amy didn't really want to be mad at Dale. He'd panicked, and Reagan being there wasn't his fault.

"Let's just hope you don't have any classes with her then. Wouldn't want you going around kissing random girls." She got up and quickly grabbed some fresh clothes before running off to the showers.

The hot water washed off her remaining sleepiness, and she finally allowed herself to think about the events of last night. If you'd told her last week that she was going to see Reagan again, she would have been euphoric.

Amy had always wanted a chance to reconcile with Reagan, if only so they'd be friends. She had never gotten around to calling her though, and neither had Reagan. So they'd drifted apart, and now they hadn't seen each other or even spoken in nearly two years. If Reagan would let her explain this mess, she was sure Reagan would understand. But Amy had a feeling that Reagan wasn't going to call. She had looked too furious, too full of disappointment and rage.

She would have to find a way to explain later. For now, she just needed to get dressed and find her first class. After putting on some hip-hugging jeans and a neutral grey shirt, she opened her phone and looked up her timetable. She shared her first class with Raven, another person to whom she would have to explain why she'd run from the party.

There was no avoiding it now, so she returned to her dorm to pick up her backpack. Dale had already left, but she saw a note taped to their make-shift table.

"Hey Amy, I've left already because I promised I'd take one of my friends to class. Good luck on your first day, and I'll be back here as soon as my classes end if you want to talk about anything.

See you,

Dale"

She took the note with her, and after seeing that she was already fifteen minutes late she made a break for her classroom.

She dashed into the room just as the professor started his presentation. He was obviously pissed that she was late on her first day.

"Miss Raudenfeld? Could you please explain why you don't think I'm worthy of your time?"

She wanted to yell at him, explain him that she had more important things than fiction writing on her head. She wanted to scream in frustration, yell that her fresh start was ruined. But of course she realized that this old woman didn't care about the problems of one of his 300 students.  
>So she just mumbled "Sorry professor, it won't happen again" and went to find a seat. She found Raven in one of the last rows, saving a seat with her hand.<p>

"Look who it is. First you can't leave a party soon enough, now you arrive as late as humanly possible. What's going on Amy?"  
>She quickly decided that she could trust Raven. Even though she had only known the girl for two days, she felt like they'd already become friends.<p>

"That DJ, Reagan? She's my ex. We didn't exactly break up as friends, and we haven't talked since. The guy who kissed me-"  
>"He's hot! Are you guys together?" Raven interrupted her with a playful voice.<p>

"I was getting there, but no, we aren't. He kissed me because his ex was at that party too, and she'd brought some boy with her to make Dale, my roommate, jealous. It looks like it worked, otherwise he wouldn't have kissed me. When Reagan saw me kissing him, she must have assumed the logical thing…"

"I love drama, and you've provided me with some of the best I've ever heard. So, what are you going to do about-"

"I SWEAR TO GOD, IF I HEAR YOU TWO TALKING ONE MORE TIME, I WILL PERSONALLY MAKE SURE YOU GET KICKED OUT OF THIS CLASS FOR THE REST OF THE SEMESTER!"

It looked like Raven hadn't been exaggerating when she had called their Ms. Earlhardt a bitch. Her face was completely red, and pretty much the entire class had turned around to look at them. Amy quickly looked down and grabbed her textbook.

After she'd almost fallen asleep under the influence of Ms. Earlhardt's monotonous voice and her boring lecture about personal pronouns, Raven passed her a crumpled note.  
>It read: "How are you going to explain all this to Reagan?" She turned the note around and scribbled<br>"I have no idea… Suggestions are appreciated!" She tried to pass it back subtly, then realized that there was no one else sitting in their row and just gave the note to Raven.  
>She read it, thought for a minute and then scribbled an answer. Amy took the note, and read<br>"Why don't you just call her and explain? If you guys were together at some point, you must have some connection. She will probably believe you, and if she doesn't, you tried. (Maybe it's none of my business, but is there really nothing going on between you and Dale?)"

She sighed indignantly and wrote back "FOR THE LAST TIME: NO! Calling Raven might be a good idea though, but I told her to call me. Maybe I should just wait it out…  
>PS: How religious is Felicia? On a scale of 'Goes to church every Sunday' to 'It might be a good idea to burn all gay people' "<p>

After reading the last part, Raven could hardly suppress her laugh, and what came out sounded like a drowning hyena. Still giggling, she wrote back and passed the now full piece of paper back.  
>"Call her. Trust me on this, just call her. Felicia is complicated. I'm 80% sure she won't burn you<br>(at least not alive) but she'll definitely need to adjust. My advice: Get to know her a little better before you tell her."

Amy was a little disappointed that even in college she couldn't be completely open about who she was, but she guessed that she could wait a little longer before telling Felicia. It wasn't like they were best friends anyway. She wasn't even sure she could handle a new best friend, even after two years the pain of losing Karma was fresh and sharp. Those were worries for later anyway. First she'd have to deal with Reagan. She took a deep breath and decided what she was going to do. She smiled gingerly at Raven and mouthed a silent "Thank you"  
>The rest of the classes flew by after that, and Amy was only slightly worried that she didn't remember anything from her first day. She was just glad that it was over with and that she could return to her room.<p>

When she got back, she found Dale sitting on his bed, just like he promised. There was an apologetic look in his eyes. "How was your first day? Is Fiction Writing any fun?"

"It's terrible. I've had 2 hours and I'm already thinking about changing my major. Look, Dale…  
>We need to talk about what happened. First of all, you owe me big time for that kiss. Seriously though, get some freaking mints."<br>"That bad huh? I've always thought I was a pretty good kisser…"

"Guys and their confidence… Secondly: You need to talk things out with your ex. I broke all contact after breaking up with my ex, and that didn't turn out so great. Lastly: I'm going to do something really stupid later and I need to be appropriately drunk. You need to get me into a bar."

Dale's signature smile had set in again, and he took out his wallet. After looking at a plasticized card, he said: "This should get us into a halfway decent bar. I'm paying, I do owe you after all."

_-sk1dr0we_

_**Author's Notes:**_ _I wrote this last night under influence of about 8 coffees, so there might be some grammatical mistakes in here. I just felt like getting something out to celebrate 1k views! Anyway, keep the suggestions coming, I'm already working some in in my next chapter, which will feature some more major events. I'm building up pretty slow, so please give me some time.  
><em>

**_I'm looking for a Beta! _**_I need someone to proof-read my chapters and maybe give some suggestions. This means that you will get all my new chapters 24 hours early, and you will have a certain amount of control over the direction of the story._

_Just PM me with your name, timezone and why you'd like to beta for me.  
><em>

**_Merry Christmas Everyone!_**


	5. Chapter 5

_**Author's Notes: **__Hope you all had a nice christmas/hanukkah/whatever you celebrate!_

The bar in question was pretty shady, they didn't even ask for an ID. She wasn't here for the atmosphere anyway. She needed some liquid courage for what she was about to do.

Dale got them a table in the back that looked pretty secluded. After ordering the cheapest shots they could get for Amy and a Pina Colada for him, Dale sat down and sighed.

"Amy, why are we here? I mean, I'm all for an old fashioned night of drinking cheap booze, but you just don't seem like the type."  
>"Look, that DJ was my ex." If Dale was shocked that his roommate was a lesbian, he didn't show it. "I owe her an explanation, if not more than that. We have a lot of history, and not all of it good. So, I'm trying to get hammered before I talk to her."<p>

"Wait, do you even know where she lives?"

"Even if I did, I wouldn't be brave enough to go over there. No, I'm going to call her. I might get lucky, maybe she doesn't pick up and I can just leave a message… Then again, with my luck she'll probably pick up on the first ring."

"Yeah, it definitely sounds like you need some more drinks." He signaled the bartender and he started preparing some more shots.  
>"If she does pick up, what are you going to tell her?"<p>

"The truth, I guess. I'm not trying to get back together or anything, I just want to explain."

Dale remained silent after that, occasionally drinking a bit of his fancy cocktail.

"What, you don't believe me? I swear, I do think we made the right decision breaking up!"  
>No matter how loud she yelled that, a nagging voice in her head told her that maybe she wasn't so sure. In the end, it wasn't like her decision had worked out so great.<p>

"No, I believe you. It's just that… Seeing her again after two years, it might be more than coincidence. I'm not a big believer in fate or destiny or anything, but you have to admit that the odds of such an encounter are pretty low."

Now that Amy thought about it, she recalled that Reagan was studying at a university in Texas. She must have transferred in the last two years.

"Well, Coincidences do happen. Anyway, I'll find out soon enough. I feel appropriately buzzed, I'm gonna head back."

"I'll stay here for a while, if you don't mind. Some friends of mine are coming over here." Amy shrugged at that. She didn't need Dale to be there when she called Reagan.  
>"Good luck!" She was going to need it.<p>

Her dorm building was pretty much deserted, most people were off celebrating surviving the first day of college. Amy didn't mind the solitude. She took her phone from her purse and took three deep breaths.

Reagan's number was still on speed dial, but Amy didn't need that. She would never forget that number.  
>She dialed it and pressed the call button. It was too late to turn back now, no matter how bad she'd like to.<p>

1 ring. 2 rings. 3 rings. 4 rings. Finally some luck, Reagan wasn't going to pick up. Amy was just going to press the end call button, when she heard a click from the speaker.

"This better be good."  
>Amy wasn't ready for this. She wasn't ready at all. But there was no turning back now.<p>

"Reagan?" Oh god. "Reagan, it's Amy. I… I just want to explain. Please, just hear me out, okay?"

There was silence at the other end of the line. For a second she could've sworn Regan had hung up.  
>But then she heard her voice again, speaking slowly, pronouncing each word clearly.<br>"Fine. I'll listen. For old time's sake."  
>Amy hadn't realized she was holding her breath, hadn't realized how bad she had wanted to hear Reagan's voice again.<p>

Reagan's voice interrupted her train of thought. "You could begin with telling me what yesterday was about."

"That guy you saw me with is my roommate… We aren't together or anything, he kissed me because he ran into his ex and because he's kind of an idiot."

"So you aren't dating this one. Any other guys in your life?" Her words were filled with venom.

"God, no! And there will never be. As far as girls go, I haven't been seeing anyone since…"  
>She didn't need to complete that sentence, they both knew what she was talking about.<p>

"How about Karma?" And now Amy realized. She had thought Reagan was angry, and she could have handled that. But this was worse. She was hurt.

"I'm- I'm not exactly on speaking terms with Karma right now. I haven't been for two years, actually…"

She heard Reagan's voice break. "Then why did you do it Amy? Why did you pick her over me? I loved you!"

And right now, Amy honestly didn't know. Why had she ever picked anyone over Reagan?  
>"Reagan, I… I made some mistakes. No, scratch that. I made one giant huge mistake. I really thought that what Karma and I had was the sort of friendship that could last for ages. I guess I was wrong, we stopped talking a week after we'd broken up. Anyway, I can't undo that now, no matter how bad I'd want to. But I want to start over. I hadn't realized how much I'd missed you, and I really want you back in my life."<p>

"You don't understand Amy! I can't just go back to being your friend, not after what we had!  
>You don't know what losing you did to me. I can't do that to myself, not again. You can't give me my life back, Amy. You can't give me my time back. You can't give me my breath back."<p>

"I know. But maybe, just maybe I can give your -no- _our_ hope back. I'm not asking you to forgive me, not yet. But could you please just try? For me?"

The line remained quiet for a while. When Reagan spoke again, her voice had regained some of its usual confidence  
>"Why not? You're still on probation though, just remember that."<p>

Amy exhaled in relief. This had gone better than expected.  
>"You want to meet sometime? Grab a coffee or something?" She needed to be assertive now, something Raven had always been in their relationship.<p>

"Coffee sounds good. Call me tomorrow, alright?"

The call ended and Amy put her phone down. She had actually done it. She was going to see Reagan again. She felt something wet rolling down her cheek and found that she was actually crying of relief.

Then the door behind her was thrown open and a girl with champagne-colored hair came in.  
>"You miss me for three days and you're already crying? We really need to work on those attachment issues. What's going on?"<p>

Lauren was here. It was going to be alright between her and Reagan. She hadn't felt so happy in a long time.

-_sk1dr0we_

**_Author's Notes: _**_This is a bit of a shorter chapter, but from now on I'm kicking the story into higher gear. I'm almost ready with my general outline and I've got a pretty good idea of where I want the story to go. I'll use these notes as an opportunity to answer some questions that have been asked about this fic. _

_1: I'm just going to say it up front, there probably won't be a hot steamy love scene, reason being that I just can't write it. Maybe I can collab with someone who can, but for the moment that's off the table. (If you guys keep asking for it I'll give it a shot though)_

_2: Karma is coming, but I'm having a really tough time writing her. Anyway, she'll make her appearance in one of the next few chapters._

_3: I still don't know whether this fic is going to be Reamy or Karmy, and I'm even considering writing multiple endings. That's still in the far future though, so we'll see._

**_A special thanks to _**_kenfromnhus __**for suggesting the phone call scene. I really do appreciate all your suggestions guys!**_


	6. Chapter 6

Lauren was still standing in the entryway, looking confused as hell.

"Lauren, what took you so long? You missed the first day of class!"

"Uh, apparently some drunk idiots trashed my room. They fixed it now though, and to apologize for the delay I'm getting the room to myself. No annoying roommates!" Only Lauren would be happy with less human contact .  
>"Anyway, what the hell happened here? You're crying? Please tell me it's not Karma. I could barely fix you when she last talked to you, I really don't want to do that again."<p>

"No, it's nothing bad, pretty much the opposite actually. Lauren, I just got off the phone with Reagan! We're meeting for coffee tomorrow!" Lauren looked surprised, but she didn't exactly look glad for Amy.

"Amy… Are you sure that's a good idea? I mean, you two never worked out your issues. Why would it work this time?"  
>Why would it? Honestly, Amy didn't know. She just had a good feeling about this.<p>

"That's exactly why I'm meeting her. Both Reagan and me need to get past what happened. It's not like we're going to start dating again (Not yet, anyway). We can just be friends."

"Are you even hearing what you're saying right now? Two people that loved each other can never ever be 'just friends'. Well, it looks like you're not gonna listen to what I have to say anyway, so I might as well wish you good luck. Now, tell me about college: What's happened before I got here?"

She told Reagan about everything: Dale, meeting Raven and the party. Lauren was a great listener, gasping and asking questions at all the right moments. Eventually Lauren left to get her room ready, leaving Amy alone. She needed that, needed some time to think about all that had happened in the last few hours. It wasn't too long before she fell asleep, the thought of Reagan still on her mind.

"Amy? Amy! You need to get up! You can't be late two days in a row, so let's go!"  
>There were better ways to wake up than Dale yelling in her ear. She'd have to get an alarm.<p>

"Yeah, thanks Dale. I'll go get ready."

"Before you go, who was the pretty girl in our room last night? Our dorm is full of gossip about you two…"

"Ewwww, Dale! She's my sister! Well, stepsister, but still. She only just arrived. You'll probably get to see her soon enough. Anyway, I'm going to take a shower."

The rest of the day flew by after that, she didn't even make any effort to listen to anything that was being said in her classes. The only thing on her mind was Reagan. She had imagined and reimagined what could happen easily a hundred times. Yet she was still nervous. Finally a bell sounded, marking the end of her day. The easy part of her day at least.

She took out her phone and speed-dialed Reagan. She picked up after the first ring, and once again Amy was confronted with just how much she had missed the deep, soulful voice of her first girlfriend.

"Amy! I was wondering if you were gonna call. Guess I shouldn't have doubted you. So, where do you want to go?"  
>She'd thought about everything, from what she was going to wear to what conversation topics she could talk about, but she hadn't thought about where they were going to get their coffee.<p>

"Uhm, I'm kinda new here… You probably know the best coffee place in a 50-mile radius, right?"

"Fine, I'll pick a place." She sounded amused rather than annoyed though. "Come over to Suzan's Coffee. It's right behind the science building. See you soon!"

That was at the other side of campus, Amy thought. She would have to jog to get there within a reasonable time. Damn, Amy hated to run. Still, it was better than being late for her date. Was it even a date? No time to think about that now. She broke into a run and sprinted to the science building.  
>When she finally arrived, she immediately saw the coffee place. It looked like just the thing for Reagan, the right mix between hipster and traditional. Walking in, she looked around trying to find Reagan as quickly as possible. All the people in the bar were at least third-years, there wasn't a freshman to be seen. And there, sitting in the back, was Reagan. This was the first time in two years that Amy got a good look on the girl that had once been her everything. She looked as beautiful as ever, her hair was a bit shorter now, she looked a little more mature. Amy had to count to ten before walking over there just to get a clear head.<p>

"Reagan. Oh my god, Reagan…" Right now, Amy didn't care that what she said might not be a thing you said to a friend. Because they were so much more than that. Lauren had been right. They could never go back to just being friends, at least she couldn't.

"Nice to see you too Amy. Let's go grab that coffee, shall we?"  
>They ordered their coffees, a doubleshot espresso for Reagan and a way too sweet latte for Amy.<br>After they took their seats, there was a moment of awkwardness before Reagan took the lead.

"So, how's college been for you so far?" Then their conversation started to flow, and it soon felt like they'd never been apart. But Amy could also feel the tension building inside her, the desire threatening to overwhelm her common sense. It didn't help when Reagan started asking personal questions.

"You mentioned on the phone that you've been single ever since we broke up… I've gotta admit, I'm having a hard time believing that."

"Well, it's true. I haven't even tried dating again, I just didn't feel ready. I figured I'd wait until I got to college. How about you?" She really hoped, against her better judgment, that Reagan would tell her the same thing.

"I've hooked up a few times, nothing serious though. It's like you said, I just didn't feel ready, and I never found anyone that I clicked with. Not the way it did with you…" And for a second, Amy felt like she should kiss her. Like they should just forget everything that had happened. They both hadn't moved on, so why shouldn't they? But she understood that there were some things they needed to talk about first.

"Look, Amy. I'm not going to lie. I've never been sure that breaking up with you was the right thing to do. This isn't exactly helping, but I need to know something. When I was dating you, I always felt like I was competing with Karma. I know she was your best friend, but I just couldn't handle that. When you picked her over me… It crushed me."

"Karma and me, that's done. I admit, I messed up that year. I lost everything. I won't make the same mistakes again, that's the one thing I'm sure of. Reagan, I've been talking to you for two hours and I already can't imagine not seeing you again." It was true, Amy really wanted her back in her life. "I really want to try this again. This time, let's take it slow. But please, let's try again."

Reagan looked up from her coffee, a hint of disbelief on her face.  
>"You know what? I came here to wrap things up, to end a part of my life. But you're right. I already lost you once, I'm not going to let that happen again. Just, don't rush it, alright?"<p>

Amy wasn't so sure she would be able to keep that promise. She'd waited so long. Instead of answering, she just leaned forward and closed her eyes. Reagan hesitated for a moment, then answered her unspoken request. When their lips met, Amy's heart stopped beating for a second. All her longing, her desire, her frustration, her sadness, her joy, was being expressed in this kiss. Exploring Reagan's mouth was still every bit as exciting as it had been the first time they had shared such a moment. She could tell Reagan felt the same. How could she have ever gone without this? How could she have ever voluntarily turned this down?

"Woah…"

"I know."

_**Author's Notes: Hey guys, once again thanks for all the reviews. Terrible character development here, I know. Too much coffee, I guess. I'm about two-thirds done with this story, but I don't feel like my writing is up to the standard that I'd like it to be. I might delay the next few chapters, I'm having a busy week. You're still welcome to send suggestions. Like I said in my last update, I'm thinking about writing multiple endings. I have something that I'd really like to work out, but I feel like it would upset a lot of you guys. So, multiple endings it is!**_


	7. Chapter 7

**_Author's Notes: _**_Hey guys, first of all I'd like to say that my heart goes out to our friends over in the Supernatural Fandom. What they've had to experience is something I wouldn't wish upon my worst enemy. Please, if you are ever in a position to do so, try to help those affected._

_Back to the story then. I've tried experimenting with different POV's here, I'm not as comfortable writing Lauren as I am Amy, but I felt like I did okay. Because this chapter is pretty much filler, I'm posting two chapters today. The second one is pretty special. Anyway, you'll see. _

**_Lauren POV:_**

Tired from moving all those boxes, she decided she'd pay Amy another visit. Honestly, she didn't know how Amy would ever survive on her own. She was like a magnet to drama and trouble. Lauren didn't mind though, not anymore. She'd grown fond of her step-sister in the last few years, and Amy was one of the few people she actually called friends. Amy had a room in the same building as her, so the walk over there was a short one. She knocked twice and stepped back.

"Yeah, hang on just a second!" That certainly wasn't Amy's voice. A nice looking tall guy opened the door.  
>"Hi, anything I can help you with?" This must be Amy's roommate. Good thing Amy wasn't straight, or she'd be worried about her stepsister<p>

"Yeah, I'm here for Amy? I'm her stepsister."

"Sorry, but she isn't here. She was going to meet with a Reagan after class. Reagan and her, that's quite a story."

"It sure is. Can I wait here for a second? Half of the stuff in my room isn't unpacked yet, it's not exactly a cozy spot right now…"

"Sure, no problem. Amy should be getting back now anyway, it's getting dark. I told her to call me if she'd stay after dark so I could walk her back. Not that our campus is full of creeps, but you never know." He looked out for Amy, that was a plus in her book. To fill the time, she started making small talk. She actually liked talking to him, and the time flew by. Hell, she was actually laughing at the guy's jokes.

**_Amy POV_**

Bliss. Sweet joyful bliss was all she felt. They had left the coffee place a little earlier (at least she'd thought it was a little earlier, Amy wasn't exactly focusing on the time right now), and they'd gone to a nearby park. All the while, Amy looked at Reagan as if she saw her for the first time. She noticed all her curves, the purple glow as the light hit her hair, how her eyes sparkled every time she laughed.  
>Right then and there, she didn't care about anything but Reagan. What did her classes matter if they were together? Oh god. That was her problem. She got over-attached so fast. She needed to take it slow, not just for Reagan but for herself. Still, when Reagan leaned in again, she didn't hesitate.<p>

The rest of the day went by in the same fashion, and before she knew it the sun had set.

"Reagan, I promised my roommate that I'd be back by dark. Hey, don't look at me like that" Reagan was using her best puppy-eyes before bursting out laughing.

"Don't worry about it shrimp, I'm not going anywhere. We've got the rest of our lives, don't we? Call me tomorrow, okay?"

"I'm not sure if I can wait until tomorrow…" They got closer and kissed once again, but this time was different. Not full of fire, like the earlier kisses, but sweet and slow. A melancholic kiss. Amy had trouble breaking away, but she managed. Waving one last time as Reagan got out of sight, she walked home.

When she got back, Raven was sitting at her door. "Hey, what're you doing here?"

"I'm here to see you, of course! One of my friends saw you having coffee with our heart-breaking DJ. So, was it a date?" Had it been a date? Probably, yeah.

"It wasn't supposed to be one, but it sure did turn out that way… Looks like I'm done being single!"  
>She squealed at that, and hugged me.<p>

"Oh my god! That's great news! You have to tell me everything."

"Sure, but let's talk inside, okay? Let me just get my keys…" She opened the door and found another surprise waiting for her. Lauren and Dale were sitting on her bed, laughing. Lauren. Laughing. It didn't go together.

"Oh Amy, you're back. I was just waiting for you here." Amy looked at Dale and raised an eyebrow, but he just shrugged in return.

"Yeah, here I am. Oh, right. Lauren, this is Raven, my friend from class. Raven, Lauren. Lauren's my stepsister." They exchanged some polite hey's before Lauren cut to the chase.

"You were out with Reagan? What happened?"

For some reason, Amy wasn't so sure she wanted to tell them. Right now her relationship was something between her and Reagan, their secret. Not that she had much of a choice, Lauren would find out anyway and Raven didn't seem to be lacking in gossip, so she'd find out too.

"Uhm, I guess we're dating again." That obviously wasn't enough of an explanation. "We, uh, talked and then we, uh, kissed."

Lauren looked at her and said: "God, Amy. You always know how to ruin a perfectly good story. We talked and we kissed? That isn't exactly Shakespeare material."

Then there was a barrage of questions and Amy did her best to answer them all (except for Dale's questions, which were just too dirty). Amy really needed to get started on her homework, but both Raven and Lauren just wouldn't quit. After about an hour of this Amy just forced them out of her room and fell back on her bed.

"Your sister is cute. She doesn't act real friendly, but she is."

"Dale! We need a new rule. If you want to date my sister, or in the unlikely scenario that you two are dating, I don't want to know anything about it. I don't care that she's only my stepsister, it's still weird."

"Noted. She's still cute though. Just one question: Is she, you know, like you?"

"Nope, you're clear on that front. She just really hates people. Now can I please get on with my homework?"

She tried to focus on her writing exercise, but she kept glancing at her phone, hoping that Reagan would send a text or something. Eventually her phone buzzed, and she took it out so quickly that it fell out of her hands. Ignoring the mocking glance of Dale, she picked it up and looked at the screen.

**1 new message from: Mom**

Farrah had sent her something? She opened the message. It read: **Hey Amy, I hope you're having fun at college. This weekend we're celebrating our anniversary, and I'd like it if you came. Could you please tell Lauren the same? You can bring some friends with you if you want.**

Right, she'd forgotten all about their anniversary. She sent a quick text to Lauren to tell her and then thought about who she'd bring. Reagan, and probably Raven too. She was really starting to like Raven, even though she'd only known her for a few days.

Her phone buzzed again, and she looked, expecting to see Lauren's name appear on the screen. Instead, Reagan's did. Her heart started beating faster as she opened the message.

**Hey shrimp, I know you said you'd call but I just couldn't wait so yeah. Anyway there's this new romantic movie playing that looks pretty bad but you could make it fun. Do you want to go tomorrow? Xxx Reagan**

She wouldn't have cared if the movie was a full-on slasher gore fest, anything to spend a little more time with Reagan. She quickly sent back: **I'd love to. Just tell me what time. See you tomorrow!  
>Yours always, Amy<strong>

She thought about the 'yours always' for a minute, but decided to send it anyway. She tried to finish her writing exercise, but there was no way that was going to happen now. So she just looked at her notebook doodling, until it was late enough to go to sleep. She'd decided: She really fucking loved college.

_**Author's Notes: **__I've been getting a lot of asks about Karma (again), and I'd like to clarify that she will be making an appearance, and she will be important to the last part of the story. Also, I've gotten a really nice PM that said that I could do much more with this fic and it'd be a shame to end it so early. I've been thinking about this a lot, and I'm thinking that, if the response keeps being as positive as it's been until now, I'll make my "ending" more of a "midseason finale". I'd continue the story, but after a month or so. I'm not really sure how I'm going to work in the multiple endings then, but we'll see._


	8. Chapter 8

**_Author's Notes: _**_Hey guys, once again I'd like to say that my heart goes out to our friends over in the Supernatural Fandom. What they've had to experience is something I wouldn't wish upon my worst enemy. Please, if you are ever in a position to do so, try to help those affected._

_This chapter was written in collaboration with my good friend and co-writer AlterF4te. If you enjoyed this, please leave a review or send me a PM, as it might really help him gain enough confidence to start writing and publishing his own stuff. (I think we can agree that more fanfic is never a bad thing, right?)_

The next day started with a class she and Raven shared, and she wasn't late for once. The professor gave her an angry glance as she walked in, so she took a seat in the last row. It wasn't too long before Raven sat down next to her. Surprisingly, Felicia was there too.

"Hey Raven. Felicia, weren't you taking foreign languages?"

"Yeah, but I decided to change my major. I was only doing it for my parents anyway, I've always hoped to become a writer, and Raven was already doing this…"

"Well, don't get your hopes up about fiction writing, Ms. Earlhardt is terrible."

"Yeah, Raven told me. I'm sure it'll be alright though."

She really wanted to tell Raven about her upcoming date with Reagan, and she wondered if she could just say it or if she should pass a note. She took out a piece of paper and started writing, then threw it away. She didn't come to college to hide who she was.

"So, Raven asked me to go see a movie with her this afternoon, and I'm just wondering what I'm going to wear? It's not exactly like I should go all dressed-up, but I still want to look nice. Any tips?"

Raven shot a look at Felicia, who was obviously trying to put the pieces together, and then looked back at Amy.

"Well, I honestly don't think Reagan cares about what you wear. I mean, you guys are together now, right?"

Felicia gasped audibly, causing both Amy and Reagan to turn their heads to her.  
>"I'm, uh, sorry. I've just never met an openly gay person…"<p>

"Well, now you have. And yes, Raven, we're together now. At least I think so." She added that to her mental list of questions she'd have to ask Reagan. "Now that you're both here, I'm going home for the weekend for my mom's wedding anniversary. Do you guys want to come with?"

They agreed to that, and the rest of the class was spent talking about their hometowns. Felicia still looked a bit dazzled, but she wasn't ignoring Amy or anything.

Due to some family emergency, her professor for the last two hours was absent so she had some time to kill before the movie. She went back to her dorm fantasizing about Reagan and her date. She knew that she shouldn't be overreacting, but she was just so excited. She was so deep in thought she tripped on the stairs and fell on her knees.

"Fuck, Amy keep your head together…" she muffled while crawling back on her feet.

"Need any help?", a voice said. Amy looked up and saw a grinning Dale.

"Oh, hi Dale! How are you?" "

"Better than you, from the looks of it." Dale said almost mockingly.

"Yeah, yeah, I know" answered Amy. "I was just thinking about…"

"Reagan?" asked Dale.

"Oh, yeah." Amy noticed she was blushing on both cheeks.

"Okay, well I won't hold you up anymore then."

"Wait, Dale?"

"Yeah?"

"How do I look?" She hated that she felt so uncertain, so insecure.

"You look great, don't worry about it. Not that you need it, but good luck!" Dale walked away, giving her a thumbs-up before he turned around.

Only 15 more minutes. Then… then… Amy realized that she wasn't sure what to expect from her date with Reagan. But she knew that she wanted to be with her. Amy looked upon her own reflection in the hallway mirror. "Well, time to go.", she said while grabbing her coat.

**_Reagan POV_**

Reagan looked at her watch. "Okay, Reagan you can do this." She said to herself. "You got this. Don't let yourself get hurt again. You just need to…"

"Hey Reagan!" A voice came from across the cinema lobby. Reagan couldn't see where the call came from, but she could recognize that voice anytime. "Amy, you made it!"

She stood up and walked, no, almost ran towards Amy.

"Hey Reagan, you have no idea how happy I am to see you."

"It's great to see you too, shrimp." said Reagan." A slightly awkward silence followed. Amy smelled like spring blossoms and mint, and the scent was clouding her mind. Reagan couldn't control herself anymore and leaned in for a kiss.

Amy didn't hesitate and returned it. She felt her lips tingle with desire as Amy came closer towards Reagan's body. She felt as if all her frustration, pain and sorrow left her body. She was filled with joy and also, something distinctly different. Was it the desire for something more? Reagan wasn't sure. In fact, the only thing that she was sure about was that she was truly, undoubtedly happy and that she wanted this moment to last forever. However, the movie was about to start.

"Come on, we're going to miss the beginning." Said Amy.

"I'm not sure I care.", her honest reply came.

Amy giggled at that, but she didn't even look phased. God, she had changed. What had happened to the timid, shy girl that she broke up with two years ago?

Amy grabbed her hand as she guided her to the movie. She almost forgot how good and gentle Amy's touch was. They entered the movie and took a seat. She didn't recall much of the movie. Her mind was focused on Amy. She looked at over at her. First into her eyes. Then her gaze went down and she watched her chest go up and down. She could look at that simple movement for days. Her gaze went even further down as her hand was going towards her thigh. Slowly she got closer and closer. She looked back up and met Amy's gaze. Reagan expected her to pull back, for Amy to ask her to take it slower. But Amy said nothing. When her hand finally reached Amy's lap, their lips were almost touching. Reagan closed her eyes and let all her hindrances go. It was Amy who eventually broke off the kiss.

"Let's at least try to see some part of the movie, shall we?" She reluctantly let go of Amy's thigh. She hadn't felt like this in a long time, not since they'd first gotten together on Amy's too small bed all those years ago.

After the end of the movie Reagan and Amy went to the bar. "I don't have the slightest idea what that movie was about… and honestly I don't even care" laughed Reagan.

"Yeah… me neither." Said Amy while staring into her drink. "You know, if got this thing coming and I thought… maybe you could…".

"What?" asked Reagan "Come on spit it out."

Well… I .. I was just wondering… if.. you, you know.."

"No, Amy I don't know and I don't have all night." Reagan said mockingly.

"Would you like to come with me to my parents wedding anniversary?"

A long silence followed as Reagan thought about the proposal. "Don't you think it is like… a little too early? I mean I…"

"Oh, come on Reagan it's not like you haven't met them already." Reagan and Amy were both laughing.

"Fine, I'll be there." They spent some time just looking at each other, seeing all the subtle ways in which their familiar faces had changed.

"Hey Amy?"

"Yeah?"

"It's a little late don't you think, how about we finish our drinks at my place?"

"Oh God… well Reagan, I don't know what to say…" Amy hesitated. "Of course I will, but don't try anything funny, okay?" Reagan and Amy laughed as they headed Reagan's dorm.

**_Amy POV_**

Once inside Reagan's place, Amy felt a strange feeling of nostalgia. Even though she hadn't ever been there, Reagan's stuff just made it all seem so familiar.

"Hey? You alright?" asked Reagan.

"What? Oh yeah. I'm sorry it's just… like a blast from the blast." She replied

"A blast from the past? Have you been breaking into my dorm?" Reagan joked.

"No I mean, just being around you. Hearing you talk.", she said as she drew closer. "Watching you move." Amy put her arms around Reagan.

"Wow, you've really changed, haven't you?"

"…feeling your body" Amy stood on the tip of her toes as her lips gently touched Reagan's. Reagan's arms were now also around Amy's waist. Slowly sliding down… Amy drew even closer towards Reagan and slid her hands into Reagan's hair. Amy could feel Reagan's body pressing against her own. As she got more excited, they wandered towards the couch and together they fell into it, determined to never let each other go.

Amy didn't really know what to do next, but she just followed Reagan's lead, just like she'd always done. She slid her leg over Reagan's, and kissed her on the lips, slow and passionate. Reagan slowly worked her way down, leaving a trail of soft kisses all over her neck. Her hands were loosening Amy shirt now, and she felt like she'd lost all control. Reagan's gentle touch moved all over her body as Reagan's lips found her stomach. Amy was now pumping with adrenaline. She had never felt anything like it. All this passion… the desire. Amy knew Reagan felt the same way, if not stronger. And that's why it had to stop.

"Wait, stop." She said.

"Did I hurt you?"

"No, it's just… we shouldn't be doing this. It is all going so fast and I don't want us to get hurt again." Amy said.

"I understand" Reagan answered while letting go of Amy.

"I... Should probably go…"

"Okay, I'll let you out."

Reagan helped Amy up and together they walked to the door. There, Amy gave Reagan a small kiss, cautious not to lose herself in the emotional rush that followed.

"See you later Reagan. I love you."

"I love you too Amy." The words were spoken without hesitation. They weren't asked. They both just knew they loved each other.

Amy turned around and headed for the stairs.

"Hey Amy!" Amy looked back over her shoulder. "See you at your parent's anniversary."

Amy turned back around and walked down the stairs with a smile on her face.

_-sk1dr0we/AlterF4te_

_This chapter was written after a friendly PM told me to try my hand at writing a "steamy" scene. It isn't exactly M yet, but if you like this chapter, I'll try to write a fully M-rated scene somewhere in the story. Karma isn't far now story-wise, but I'm kinda feeling a writer's block coming up, so you might have to wait a little longer. I'd like to thank you all again for the reviews, the follows and the favorites. A PM still feels like getting a present to me, and I thank each and everyone of you that made me feel that way. _


	9. Chapter 9

**_Author's Notes: _**_First of all, if you're easily triggered please don't__read the last_******_5 sentences. _**_I'm sorry this chapter took so long, I'm back on schedule now and I should be able to post daily updates until my "mid-season finale". _

The next few days passed too slow, Reagan had some big assignment due that was taking up all her time. The weekend couldn't come soon enough for Amy. She knew she'd only been living alone for a week now, but she was dying to see her parents. She also knew that going home would mean confronting some old ghosts. She was ready for that though, especially now that she'd be going together with Reagan. Time to call Lauren, she was the one who'd fixed them all a ride. Apparently she'd found some guy who liked her enough to drive both Lauren and them all the way to Texas. After she'd found her phone lying somewhere in her bag, she dialed Lauren's number.

"How's our ride looking?"

"Nice to talk to you too. Well, I think the driver's almost here. He was going to pick you up first. Do you have all your stuff?"

"Yeah, I'm all packed up. Are you bringing anyone?"

"Just the driver, I guess. Well, see you soon."

As she put her phone back in her purse, Dale opened the door. He was all dressed-up and a backpack was slung nonchalantly from his right shoulder.

"Designated driver, reporting for duty!"

"Seriously, Dale? Lauren asked you to drive us?" Did they know each other that well already? Who knows, Lauren might have some hidden charm after all…

"Yup, in exchange for snacks and beverages at your parents party." He was a bit goofy, not Lauren's type at all. Amy was really confused about the whole thing, but a ride was a ride.

"Alright then, let's go." They walked down to Lauren's room together, and Amy thought she saw a hint of longing when Lauren looked at Dale.

"Thanks again for driving us Dale. Let's hurry up now though, we don't have all day. We still have to pick up your two friends, right Amy? What were their names again?"

"Raven and Felicia. Oh, almost forgot Reagan. They all live over in the D building though, so it shouldn't take too long."

Dale's car stood parked in front of the building. It was one of those beat up rust-red pickup trucks, which for some reason totally matched Dale.

"Yeah, just throw your bags in the back. Oh, wait. That's Raven, right?" Raven was walking towards them, and Felicia wasn't far behind.

"Hey, we're here!" She yelled. "I saw Reagan in the hallway, she's just packing up her last stuff and then she's coming over here as well." Raven seemed chipper as always, and Felicia looked like she was looking forward to the trip.

Amy helped them get their luggage in the car, and Amy introduced Felicia to Lauren. Then she saw Reagan coming out of her building, and Amy's heart skipped a beat. Amy wanted to fall into Reagan's arms, and tell her how she had missed her, explain to her why she hadn't felt ready last night, but instead she just gave her an awkward hug.

"I'm so glad you're coming with me, I have no idea how I would survive an entire weekend without seeing you."

"That makes two of us." She laughed, and the sound of it took Amy's breath away. "So, our driver is the guy that kissed you…"  
>Right, they hadn't met each other yet. She hoped that the drive itself wouldn't be too awkward.<p>

"Yep, that's Dale. Lauren is driving with us too, and so are my friends Raven and Felicia."

"Oh… Okay, I thought it was just going to be the two of us" Replied Reagan. There was something in her voice. Disappointment? Amy wasn't sure

Dale honked the horn, and they rushed to the car. Lauren and Felicia were sitting in the middle row, and Dale and Felicia had taken a seat in the front, which meant that she and Reagan would get to sit in the last and most secluded row. Maybe this trip wasn't going to be so bad!

The first few minutes went by in silence as they all took in the scenery of Saint Louis, but then Reagan took on a serious expression.

"Amy, we're going back to your hometown. I know there's a lot of memories waiting for you there, and it might not be easy for you to be reminded of all those things. If there's anything I can do, just tell me, alright? That's all I'm asking." Once again Amy was reminded of how lucky she was to be with her.

"I'm sure it'll be fine. I mean, I've only been gone for a week, right?"

Dale poked his head back and yelled: "You've been gone two months in freshmen time. There's so much going on in your first year of college that every day counts for seven."

"Just keep your eyes on the road, Dale. Not that we don't all appreciate your beautiful epiphanies, but we'd rather you focus on driving." Well, it looked like Lauren hadn't changed that much after all.

Amy returned her gaze to Reagan. "I'll be fine. We'll be fine. And I have some great news for you…"

"What is it?"

"My old room is being renovated into an office, so my mom got us a hotel room." She tried to talk suggestively, but she was sure she failed miserably. She just didn't have that much experience in this department.

"Wow, Amy… I've just begun to really start looking forward to this weekend. "  
>There was one thing Amy wasn't telling her though. Her mom hadn't exactly gotten <em>them<em> a room. In fact, her mom didn't even know about Reagan. Even though Amy had come out to her mom three years ago, Farrah still had some trouble with seeing Amy be "intimate" with other girls. There was no avoiding it now, and she should probably tell Reagan.

"Hey, uhm, I haven't really told my mom about _us_ yet, so things might be a little awkward at first."

"You've told her once already, haven't you? It won't be so bad. Just relax. You know what? I'll help you get your mind off of things…"

Reagan kissed her slowly, exploring every bit of her lips. Amy couldn't control herself and let out a soft moan. She was only faintly aware that there were other people in the car this point, and she had to make a conscious effort to keep her hands from touching Reagan's body. This wasn't exactly helping her relax, but it definitely took her mind off of things!

**Lauren PoV**

They were approaching Austin now, and Lauren was a bit regretful about how fast the drive had been. She'd really been enjoying talking to Felicia. While she was a bit naïve, she seemed really open to new things, and they'd discovered that they had loads of common interests. She'd spent the most part of the trip showing her favorite bands and songs to Felicia, and she shared her love for Neutral Milk Hotel.

While she would never admit it to anyone, she'd felt a bit lonely during her first week of college, and she was glad that she got to hang out with Amy's friends.  
>Felicia had fallen asleep about three hours ago, and her head was resting on Lauren's shoulder. She wondered whether or not she should wake her up, but decided she could let Felicia sleep for a bit longer. She had to admit, the weight on her shoulder felt kind of nice.<p>

_**Amy PoV**_

The car stopped, causing Amy's head to slide off of Reagan's lap.

"Whu-, are we there yet?" Reagan had been asleep too, so she just shrugged drowsily.

"Yeah, we're here, sleepyheads. Wow, Amy, if I were you I'd go get a comb right now. You look like shit."

"Thanks Lauren, I love you too." Reagan quickly caressed her hair and whispered "You look great, as always."

They got out of the car, and walked up to what had been Amy's home for the last eighteen years. Farrah must have seen them pull up in the driveway, because she'd already opened the door. She gave both her and Lauren a big hug and invited them all in. After Farrah'd offered everyone some drinks, Lauren took Dale, Raven and Felicia to see the wonders of Austin, which left her and Reagan alone with Farrah.

"It sure is nice that you two have met each other again. How did you two find each other anyway?" Amy had known this question was coming, and the last thing she was going to tell her mom was that she'd met Reagan at some shady party while kissing her roommate.

"Uhm, I just bumped into her while I was going to class. It's a small world, right?" Reagan was trying her best not to giggle, but Amy knew that she had to change the subject before Reagan would have a laughing fit.

"So mom, are you excited for your big party tomorrow?" Farrah had been organizing her anniversary party for months now, and there were about 200 people invited.

"Oh dear, it's just so much work. I still have to arrange the catering service, find a decent DJ and prepare my speech. I have no idea if I'll be able to get it all ready by tomorrow night."

"Well, Reagan's the best DJ I know, so she could help you with one part of your problem."

"Reagan, would you do that for me? That's so sweet!"

"Sure, no problem. Just tell me what music you'd like and I'll make it work." She was obviously trying to make a good impression, but Farrah looked like she really appreciated it. Her mom looked tired, and she could probably use all the help she could get. Regan and her mom had started talking about music and lighting and speaker systems, which were all things Amy didn't really know anything about.  
>She decided she'd take a quick shower to get freshened up, so she walked up to her old room.<br>It was amazing how familiar everything felt. She'd never realized it while she still lived here, but she could climb these stairs blindfolded, unlike her dorm where she still struggled to find her closet in the dark.

Her room looked a lot smaller than she remembered it too, and it was hard to believe that she'd lived here a week ago. Her parents had said they were renovating her room, but apparently that meant putting a ladder up in her room. Literally nothing had changed, from her posters to her mannequin. Even her picture board was still up, documenting every part of her life. And in every single picture, without exception, was Karma, smiling next to her best friend. These pictures had helped her through those two years, every time she looked at them she'd think that things would get better. Now she realized that she'd lied to herself. The friendship in those pictures was over. She hadn't realized she was starting to breath faster, but she now felt the familiar claustrophobia of an anxiety attack set in. All the bad memories, the nightmares, the panic of waking up, it all came back to her.

She tore the picture board from the wall. A few things from her desk were swiped to the floor as well, but she didn't care. She needed to calm down. After taking a few deep breaths, she collected herself and slowly undressed. She stepped into her bathroom and turned on the hot water. Soon the water was steaming and it almost burned her skin when she stepped under the strong beams. For a while, she just stood there, focusing on the falling water. When Amy felt like she'd calmed down enough, she slowly began washing herself, slowly running her hair through her hands. She was going to be okay. She had Reagan now. She was in college. She had friends there. She wasn't alone anymore. It was going to be okay.

**_(Trigger warning)_**

She must have stood there for at least twenty minutes, and she only turned off the water when she felt it going colder. She went to grab a towel, combed her hair, and checked how she looked in the mirror. Then something behind her caught her eye. A sparkle in a glass sitting on the window-sill. She'd almost forgotten about it. Last summer, she had sworn she would never touch it again. Even looking at it hurt, yet it also offered a strange sense of security. A backup plan.

For two years, it had been her best friend and her worst enemy. The glass contained a razor blade.


	10. Chapter 10

_**Author's Notes: **_

_I'm pretty much done with writing the entire story, I just need to work out the multiple ending thing. If everything goes right, I should be done by Saturday. _

"Amy, are you alright? You've been in there for half an hour!" The concerned sound of Reagan's voice awoke her from her trance. She quickly looked away from the glass and took a few deep breaths.

"Yeah, I'm okay, I was just really enjoying my shower. I'll be there in a minute!" She checked her hair, put on fresh clothes and opened the door. "How was my mom's music taste?" She tried to sound relaxed, but wasn't sure if it worked.

"I honestly didn't know there were so many country songs. I think I'm scarred for life!" Reagan's voice helped calm Amy down, and she even laughed a little.

"Yeah, that's Texas for you. So, are you all done here?"

"I just need to grab my laptop, and then we can go pay a visit to our hotel. I'm dying to take a shower."

After Amy had said goodbye to her mom, they walked to their hotel together. Luckily for them it wasn't that far away because there was still no sign of Dale and his car. The walk took them through one of the few busy streets of Austin, a street Amy knew all too well. This was where she and Karma used to get their fancy lattes, a guilty pleasure they'd both enjoyed and made fun of at the same time.

She had never been here alone, and she'd never found another place that served coffees quite as sweet as this one. She thought about taking Reagan there, but she knew that the place held too many memories. Having a drink with Reagan there would feel like cheating on Karma, this had been their thing. She couldn't help herself however, and shot a quick glance through the window at what had been their usual table.

It was occupied by someone with beautiful dark red hair. She'd recognize that person anywhere.

Karma was sitting alone no ten feet from her. And if Reagan hadn't been with her, Amy was sure she would have walked in and started talking to her. Seeing Karma in person hurt much worse than just looking at old photographs.

"You okay shrimp? You look like you've seen a ghost." She looked so concerned, and Amy hated herself for even thinking about talking to the one person that had caused them to break up.

"I'm fine, really. It's just… These shops all bring back a lot of memories. Let's just go."

"Hey, I'm here now. Just try to relax, alright?" Reagan kissed her softly, her concern showing even in this action. She took a hold of Amy's hand and squeezed reassuringly. "I think we're almost there. The hotel looked beautiful, didn't it?" She tried to distract her by making small talk, and it was working. She hadn't even noticed that Karma had looked back, that she'd seen her kiss Reagan.

The hotel looked like pretty much every other hotel in America, but the most important thing was there: a bed. As soon as they got in the room, Reagan dropped her bags and ran to take a shower, leaving Amy to think about the events of the day. She laid down on the bed and tried desperately not to see Karma's face when she closed her eyes.

"Hey Amy! Don't you fall asleep just yet " Reagan laughed.

"What? Oh, Reagan I'm sorry I was just... Thinking." Only now did Amy realise Reagan was only wearing a towel.

"Uh, about what, Amy?"

"Just, you know, the day and stuff." Amy noticed a different tone In Reagan's voice, like when they had been in Reagan's dorm last night.

"The day? Anything in particular?" Reagan now sat besides amy.

"Look Reagan, I have to tell you something." Amy's voice suddenly became more serious.

"What is it Amy?" Reagan sounded a little concerned but nonetheless she still looked curious to know what Amy had to say. "You look pretty worried... You know you can tell me anything, right?"

"I know, I know… It's just..." Amy said.

"What Amy? What happened?" Amy saw Reagan's shoulders tighten, a sign that she was feeling anxious . She'd always been able to see right trough Amy, and she could probably tell how important this was to her.

"I saw… Karma today." Amy felt as if a huge weight had just fallen off of her shoulders

Reagan's expression suddenly hardened. Amy had only been thinkingabout herself, and she hadn't really thought about how Reagan would respond to this. She now realised she might have made a terrible mistake. It was only after a few minutes of silence ,which felt like decades to Amy, that Reagan could bring out one word: "Karma?..."

"I'm sorry, I knew I should've told you sooner but I was just so scared about what you would say." Amy knew that was a lie, but what was she supposed to say? That she just didn't had the courage to face the past? That maybe she still missed Karma, and that she wanted to see her again? No. She couldn't possibly say that. She could hardly admit it to herself.

"I understand…" was the only thing Reagan said.

"You do? So you aren't mad?"

"Amy, look." Reagan slowly turned her head toward Amy. "I love you no matter what, and the last thing that I want is for either one of us to be hurt again. Karma… caused some things. Some things that are very hard to forgive for me, but Amy. You knew her almost all your life, you were friends… That is not something that could easily be forgotten. So Amy: No, I'm not mad. I just want you to be happy."

This time it was Amy who was speechless.

"Reagan… I don't know what to say I was just so afraid and I…."

Reagan leaned as she softly kissed her Amy's face. "You don't have to say anything. Just relax."

Amy looked Reagan in the eyes. She could feel her heartbeat rising. Reagan slowly grabbed her face as the kiss became more intense. Amy reached for her back. she slowly grabbed the towel and with a small move she took it off. Reagan let out a small giggle as she laid down. Amy looked at her body. she slowly visualised every part from it starting with her face and ending with her curves. Amy swinged her leg over Reagan. She slowly touched her body. Oh God, it is happening. she thought to herself. She leaned forward and kissed Reagan's lips first, then her neck and then her breasts. Reagan grabbed Amy around the waist and flipped positions, she was now on top.

Reagan POV

Reagan slowly touched Amy's shirt, unbuttoning every button. She worked slowly, careful not to rush anything. She then removed her shirt. She is perfect, she thought. She slowly loosened her bra as she kissed her. Amy moaned a little, she could feel Amy's body beneath her own. She was ready. This was what she had been waiting for. She grabbed Amy's bra and threw it on the floor. Amy grabbed Reagan's shoulders and pushed them towards her own. Reagan slowly moved her hands on Amy's thigh. She could hear Amy moan. She took of Amy's pants. Reagan moved her lips towards Amy's thighs. Amy groaned and moaned.

"OH GOD!" Amy screamed.

Reagan could hear Amy's breath. Reagan hadn't felt anything like this, the passion… was overwhelming.

Reagan looked up and gave Amy a seductive look.

Amy kissed Reagan as she took the lead again. she grabbed her waist and moved her hand to her thighs. Reagan had never felt anything like it, not even on her own.

"Oh Amy. I love you" Reagan moaned as she kissed Amy. Her breathing intensified while her moans became louder. Amy slid down on Reagan's body as she kissed her. Reagan held her breasts and her desire grew, her desire to love, to hold, to touch... The end was near, Reagan's moans reached their loudest point and all of a sudden it was over.

Amy looked up and kissed Reagan."Woah Amy!" said Reagan as she lay down on the bed. Amy lay down beside her. "That was… Woah"

Both exhausted they fell back on the bed.

"Amy?"

"Yeah"

"I love you."

"I love you too."

They fell asleep together, holding one another.

**Lauren POV**

There wasn't a lot to see in Austin, but she was doing her best to entertain her guests. She'd taken them to some of her favorite bars and to Zilker Park, but now she was running out of things to show them. Normally she wouldn't have any problem with just dumping them and going back home, but she wanted these people to like her. She wasn't used to being the one who tried to make friends, usually people tried to befriend her. She crossed of the things she'd already showed them from her mental list, and she couldn't think of another interesting thing in Austin.

"Hey, is that a fair?" Raven pointed to her right, and indeed, a faint outline of a Ferris wheel was visible.

"Looks like it. Let's go, we don't get those here very often."

The fair itself was pretty small, apart from the Ferris wheel there were a few shooting stalls and a haunted house. Because Lauren's aim was terrible and she wasn't too fond of heights, she decided they should do the haunted house.

"Are you guys up for a haunted house? It looks pretty decent, and the tickets aren't too expensive.

Everyone agreed, but Felicia got a little closer to Lauren and whispered the following: "I've never actually been inside a haunted house before, is it scary?"

"Well, that's pretty much the point. Don't worry though, they're usually really predictable, and you won't be alone in there." Lauren tried to sound reassuring, and apparently it worked, because Felicia was first in line to buy tickets.

Upon entering the haunted house, Lauren was afraid that she'd lied to Felicia. The atmosphere in the haunted house itself was pretty scary, and Felicia was already looking a bit frightened.

They took their seats and the cars started going. She and Felicia shared a car, and due to the size of the cars their bodies pressed against each other. Like Lauren had thought, the haunted house relied on cheap scares and bad costumes, and while Dale and Lauren were enjoying making fun of the place, Felicia looked pretty scared, and she let out a little yelp after every scare.

"Felicia, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm-" She was interrupted by a skeleton that popped out from somewhere. "I'm a bit scared, I'll admit"

"Just hold on to me, okay?" And Felicia did, she rested her head on Lauren's shoulder and held her tight.

**-**_sk1dr0we_

_**Author's Notes: **__To be completely honest, I'm not exactly happy with the quality of the last few chapters. I guess I just lost my inspiration, but I feel like I'm not doing as good a job as I could. That's why I'm taking a break after working out this story arc. Also, I just reached 4500 views, which I feel is completely undeserved, but thank all of you anyway! _


	11. Chapter 11

Amy PoV

Amy's peaceful sleep hadn't lasted long. She'd awoken from a dream of which she wasn't sure whether it was a great one or a nightmare. It had felt so lifelike… She'd been with Karma, back in her room. There was nothing new about the scene, she'd dreamt about it hundreds of times before. She had told Karma she loved her, but instead of the rejection that usually followed, Karma had admitted that she felt something for her too. This was new terrain for her dreaming self, so dream-Karma had taken the lead. Her dream had pretty much been a rerun of what had happened with Reagan last night, and when she'd woken up she had felt guilty. Not just about the dream, but also because she wouldn't honestly mind if something like that happened.

She had to admit to herself that she still felt something for Karma, and she needed that to stop.

It was good that she'd only be here for another day. She just needed to get through the party, say her speech and clap for her parents. She could handle that, she thought. She turned around and saw Reagan still sleeping, a bit of drool hanging from the corner of her mouth. She didn't have it so bad.

Amy put her head next to Reagan's and fell back asleep.

She was violently awoken by her phone buzzing on the bedside table. Reagan heard it too, apparently, because she groaned and turned around. Well, she'd have to answer it then.

"Yea-hello?"

"Amy? It's your mom. Where are you?"

"I'm,uh, still at the hotel. What time is it?"

"It's three PM! You should've been here two hours ago, you need to help me prepare!"

"Shit, I'm on my way. I'll be there in fifteen minutes." She dropped the phone and begun the impossible task that was waking up Reagan. She tried her best to ignore Amy's calls, but eventually she opened her eyes and asked: "Wh- what's happening?"

"Apparently it's three PM, we need to go. I'm gonna take a shower, can you pack our stuff please?" Reagan groaned in frustration and threw the blanket off of her, exposing her naked body.

Amy suddenly had trouble remembering what she was supposed to be doing, but she managed to shake off the the less-than-christian thoughts that were passing through her mind. She took a cold shower to calm down and dressed as quick as possible. "Reagan, are you ready?"

"Yep, our luggage is packed, and I've got my laptop with me. We're good to go as far as I'm concerned"

Amy didn't really feel like talking, so the walk back to her house was a quiet one. It was only when they stood in front of the door that Reagan broke the silence.

"Amy, what's going on? You haven't said a word apart from 'we need to go' all morning, and your eyes seem sad."

Sad didn't begin to describe the emotions Amy was dealing with right now, but Reagan was the wrong person to tell about her lingering feelings for Karma. She needed Lauren right now, and she could only hope that she was already here. She unlocked the door and they both entered.

"Alright, I'm here! What can I do?"

Her mom immediately ran down the stairs and hugged her. "Oh, I'm so glad you're here. This planning is driving me crazy! And Reagan's here too? Perfect, then we can go set up the music. Amy, there's a list of tasks over there."

After what seemed to be an endless stream of chores , the party was almost ready to begin. Reagan had all her music installation ready and Farrah was (as always) freaking out. All in all, it was comfortingly normal. Guests had already arrived, and Reagan had taken her place behind the DJ table.

Amy could finally relax. All she had left to do was give her speech and-. Fuck. Her speech. With everything that had happened last night, she'd totally forgotten to prepare it. And she was up in ten minutes. Well, there was no sense in trying to write one now.

"Amy, would you come on stage please?" That was sooner than expected, but she might as well get it over with. She walked up on the makeshift stage and some distant relative handed her a mic. As she looked upon the crowd, a strange sense of deja vu came over her. She'd given a wedding speech three years earlier, the day that Amy had confessed her love for Karma. That thought wasn't exactly helping her focus, so she tried to concentrate on talking.

"Uhm, hello everyone… We are here today to celebrate the anniversary of two of the best people I know. When my dad left all those years ago, my mom was devastated. She thought she'd never find love again. I'm so extremely happy that Bruce has proved her wrong. And it wasn't just my mom that found someone new in her life. I got a new sister, who I can't imagine living without now. Bruce, mom, I wish you all the best."

She knew it hadn't been her best speech, but she got a fair amount of applause, and her mom looked happy. There were a few other forgettable speeches from some uncles she didn't know,and then the actual party started. A country song started blasting from the speakers, and Reagan gave Amy a horrified look.

She finally found Dale awkwardly moving around, so she smiled and asked him to a dance.

While doing some silly square-dance, she saw a flash of auburn hair somewhere behind Dale. The same auburn hair she'd seen in her dreams countless times.

"Dale, hang on for just a second, alright?"

"You aren't the first girl that's walked out on me, I'm getting used to it.", he joked, she mouthed an apology and walked away.

Now that she'd gotten a little closer, it was obvious that the girl was indeed Karma. She wasn't dancing, just standing around and apparently looking for someone. Amy knew that the decision that she was about to make would most likely affect her entire future. She remembered all too well why she'd come here in the first place. She came here to face the ghosts of her past. And there was a ghost standing right in front of her.

Karma finally noticed her, her eyes widened in sudden realization. She seemed to hesitate, but eventually she walked towards Amy. She was wearing a beautiful turquoise dress which accentuated her curves in all the right places. Amy was having a hard time keeping her eyes focused on Karma's face, and she almost missed the apologetic look that Karma shot her way. They were separated by just a few feet now, and Amy could smell her perfume: A sweet, seductive scent. Was this actually happening? They'd been apart for so long that Amy could hardly remember Karma's voice, but it looked like she was going to be reminded tonight.

Karma looked her straight in the eyes and started talking.

"Amy, first of all I want to apologize." Amy looked at her in disbelief. She'd been furious with her for two years and now she wanted to apologize?

"Karma, I-"

"No, Amy, please just let me explain. But let's go outside, alright? It's a bit loud in here."

Amy nodded solemnly, and followed Karma to the yard. As soon as they got outside, Karma started talking again.

"I knew that this party might have been my last shot at finding you, I'm so glad you're here." Amy just listened in stunned silence.

"I know that I was the one to break contact, I was the one to ignore you. At first, I could justify this to myself. I told myself that you were the "evil" one, you deliberately hurt me first. But I think that deep down, I knew that my response was exagarrated. I've been thinking about you a lot lately. Remember how we always talked about going to college together? We were finally going to live get our own room, meet cute boys… We had it all planned out, and I ruined it." Her voice broke now, she looked so vulnerable and still Amy couldn't speak, she was having trouble even processing what was happening right in front of her.

"Amy, I stopped talking to you not just because you hurt me, but because I was afraid. Afraid of my feelings for you, afraid of what I might do if we stayed friends. The truth is that I was afraid of falling in love with you." This couldn't be real. This was impossible. She'd imagined this conversation hundreds of times, each one with the same outcome. But she had never actually thought Karma would say those words. Was she imagining this as well?

"Karma, why are you telling me this now? I've been waiting for two years, so what makes today different?"

"I don't know. I just couldn't stand being apart from you anymore. I know that I have no right saying this, but the last two years were hard for me too. I know I can't just apologize for what I did, but I want us to go back to the way we were." If she was honest with herself, Amy knew that that was exactly what she wanted. But could she just forgive her? Karma had been the cause of her depression, she'd pondered about ending her life multiple times while all alone on a friday night. She wasn't alone anymore though, she had Reagan and all her other new friends.

She saw a single tear rolling down Karma's cheek, and she made her decision.

-sk1dr0we

**Author's Notes**_: Alright, this is the first part of the finale, I've decided I will be doing three endings, and I'll try to get them up by 4:00 PM GMT. I'm going to upload each ending under the name of the pairing that it features, so just pick the one you want to read. Or read them all :)_

_I'm not sure if I'll be able to wrap up all loose ends, and to be honest I don't think I can, so you'll have to wait another month to see the whole Lauren-Felicia-Dale thing come together (Don't worry, this isn't a spoiler.) . I know that lately the overal believability of the fic has gone down (at least how I see it) and I'm working on that. Also, someone was kind enough to point out some rather obvious plotholes (No idea how I missed those, I'm an idiot) and I'm busy on fixing those, so in the next week or so the existing chapters will be updated. _

_Also, I just hit 5k views this morning, which I'm tremendously excited about! Once again, thank you all for all the views, reviews, favorites and follows. I'm still taking suggestions, and I'll try to use them in my next "season"._


	12. Ending: Karmy

She leaned in and wiped the tear off Karma's face. Seeing her cry still moved something deep within Amy. She wanted to hold her and tell her everything would be alright.

"Karma, you're right. I've tried two live without you for two years, and it nearly broke me. I'm just so tired, Karma. Tired of missing you, tired of hating you, tired of being alone. There's nothing I wouldn't give for things to go back to the way they were. But that's too late now, isn't it? " She saw Karma's face brighten, her eyes started sparkling once more.

"We can't go back to the way things were, but maybe that isn't such a bad thing. At least now I know what it's like to lose you. What it's like to make the greatest mistake of your life and still being too stupid to reverse it. Amy, my biggest mistake wasn't shutting you out of my life. It was telling you that I didn't feel the same way as you when you told me that you loved me. It was a lie, Amy and I've been lying ever since. Fuck, I was starting to believe myself, and then I saw you tonight."

Amy had to pinch her arm to make sure she wasn't sleeping. Was Karma actually telling her that she loved her? Amy wasn't sure whether she should be ecstatic or sad. On the one hand, she knew that she still loved Karma. Amy's attraction towards her had never faded, her beating heart was testament to that. Even thinking about all this felt wrong, she was together with Reagan now. What could Karma offer her that Reagan couldn't? But Karma just smelled so good, her lips looked so perfect.

"Karma… What do you want me to do? I'm seeing Reagan, I can't just come crawling back to you because you finally realize that you feel something for me too." She had to remind herself that this was the truth, she couldn't fall for Karma again.

"Amy, that's not what I'm asking of you. Can't we just be friends? We can see where we go from there." Karma took a step forward, and they were now mere inches apart, and Amy allowed herself to really look at Karma once more. Maybe it was the buzz caused by the multiple glasses of champagne she'd drunk. Maybe it was the smell of Karma's perfume that drifted around her. Maybe it was destiny. But she decided that whatever would come after this would be worth it.

"Oh, fuck it." She closed her eyes and finally did what she'd dreamt about so many times.

Karma didn't pull back, didn't just sit by passively like she'd done so many times while they were "faking it". This was so new, but it still felt familiar. Kissing Karma felt like coming home after a long, tiring journey. Amy felt Karma's hands caress her cheek and find their way under her shirt.

This was going too fast. She knew she'd lost all control, but why would she care?

They must have stood that way for at least ten minutes, sharing a moment so intimate that neither one of them wanted it to stop.

"Amy, you are a complete and utter IDIOT!"

Shit. This wasn't good. Karma let go of her and took a step back. A few feet behind her stood Lauren, an expression of disbelief frozen on her face.

-_sk1dr0we_

_**Author's Notes: **__Alright, this marks the end of my first venture into the wonderful world that is fanfic. I'll be picking up the story where it left of in about a month or so. I'm still not sure which ending I'm going to build upon, so feel free to send me some suggestions. In the meantime I'll be posting some oneshots based on some requests I've seen, so if you liked this story you should probably check those out too ;)_

_And now, for the last time: Thanks to everyone who read, commented, favorited or followed my story. It means a lot, it really does. Without the response from you I would probably have never been able to keep writing. _


	13. Ending: Reamy

_This ending feaures Reamy, if you prefer Karmy as a pairing please check out my other ending. Or read them both. I can't stop you, can I?_

"Karma, I loved you. I'm not going to deny that. Maybe I still love you, maybe that feeling will never fade. Honestly, I don't know if I can go back to being "just friends" with you, not after what you've just said. There's been a time when I would have given everything to be with you. But I'm not alone anymore, I'm with Reagan now. I just can't do this to her, being friends with you. She'd never admit it, but she would always think that I'd pick you over her." She knew that she was making the right choice by doing this. In the long-term, Karma would just end up hurting her again.

"But, I don't understand. You just said that you loved me… What else do we need? Reagan's jealousy is her own problem. What we have is unique. We're soulmates!" Karma sounded desperate now, tears were rolling freely down her face. Seeing Karma cry felt so terrible, like a piece of her was being ripped out slowly. But this time, Amy wouldn't give in to Karma. She felt a strange sense of serenity come over her. After two years of sadness, she was finally ready to give up on her best friend.

"Karma, what we had _was _unique. You ended that. Two years of silence, Karma! Two years! You can't give me that time back! How dare you come back here and suggest that I pick you, my so-called best friend who ruined my life just to date some stupid boy, over Reagan, who has always supported me and only broke up with me because of _you. _We're done, Karma. Maybe someday we can be friends again, who knows? Now, I've got a party to attend. My parents are going to give their speech soon.

Goodbye, Karma."

"Amy, wait. Please? Here's my new number." She took a small piece of paper from her bag. "If you ever want to talk to me, about anything at all, call me, alright?" Amy reluctantly took the paper and stuffed it in her pockets.

"Just don't hold your breath."

She turned around and left Karma standing there. Amy was convinced that she'd made the right decision, but that didn't lessen the pain in her heart.

She walked back into her her house and was greeted by a wall of sound. Reagan was still playing terrible country music, Lauren, Raven and Felicia were still dancing, Dale was still trying to pick up slightly-drunk girls. She'd been away for only ten minutes, yet her whole world had changed.

**She climbed up to the DJ booth and put her hand on Reagan's. She looked at Amy's face, and she must have seen how red and puffed it was. But she didn't ask any questions, didn't look away. She just kissed her, and for a moment Amy forgot all about Karma. This was where she was supposed to be. Right here, next to Reagan. Tomorrow** she'd be going back to St Louis, far from Austin and all it's memories. She was going to be alright. They were going to be alright.

-_sk1dr0we_

_**Author's Notes:**__Alright, this marks the end of my first venture into the wonderful world that is fanfic. I'll be picking up the story where it left of in about a month or so. I'm still not sure which ending I'm going to build upon, so feel free to send me some suggestions. In the meantime I'll be posting some oneshots based on some requests I've seen, so if you liked this story you should probably check those out too ;)_

_And now, for the last time: Thanks to everyone who read, commented, favorited or followed my story. It means a lot, it really does. Without the response from you I would probably have never been able to keep writing. _


	14. Ending: Other

**Trigger Warning: ****_If_**

She leaned in and wiped the tear off Karma's face. Seeing her cry still moved something deep within Amy. She wanted to hold her and tell her everything would be alright.

"Karma, you're right. I've tried two live without you for two years, and it nearly broke me. I'm just so tired, Karma. Tired of missing you, tired of hating you, tired of being alone. There's nothing I wouldn't give for things to go back to the way they were. But that's too late now, isn't it? " She saw Karma's face brighten, her eyes started sparkling once more.

"We can't go back to the way things were, but maybe that isn't such a bad thing. At least now I know what it's like to lose you. What it's like to make the greatest mistake of your life and still being too stupid to reverse it. Amy, my biggest mistake wasn't shutting you out of my life. It was telling you that I didn't feel the same way as you when you told me that you loved me. It was a lie, Amy and I've been lying ever since. Fuck, I was starting to believe myself, and then I saw you tonight."

Amy had to pinch her arm to make sure she wasn't sleeping. Was Karma actually telling her that she loved her? Amy wasn't sure whether she should be ecstatic or sad. On the one hand, she knew that she still loved Karma. Amy's attraction towards her had never faded, her beating heart was testament to that. Even thinking about all this felt wrong, she was together with Reagan now. What could Karma offer her that Reagan couldn't? But Karma just smelled so good, her lips looked so perfect.

"Karma… What do you want me to do? I'm seeing Reagan, I can't just come crawling back to you because you finally realize that you feel something for me too." She had to remind herself that this was the truth, she couldn't fall for Karma again.

"It doesn't have to be so complicated. Right now, it's just us. If you want, it can always be just us."

The words sounded so good. This was what she wanted, and it was what she feared.

"Karma, I can't-" And then Karma's lips touched hers. Her body reacted automatically, and for a second Amy kissed her back. Then she took a step back.

"I can't do this. Not to Reagan. Shit, I need to go."

She ran back to the house, leaving behind a stunned Karma. She stumbled over the dancefloor, ignoring Lauren's concerned questions. She needed to see Reagan, needed to get Karma out of her head. She was still there, standing behind the DJ table. Amy climbed up to her and Reagan turned around. She noticed that something was wrong, but she remained silent. Amy kept walking until their bodies touched, and she kissed Reagan. She tried to lose herself in the action, something she usually didn't have a problem with. But as she closed her eyes, she still saw Karma. Karma's face, her eyes, her lips. Reagan slowly pulled back and asked if she was okay. Amy just shrugged and turned around. She needed to calm down.

She didn't even remember going up the stairs, didn't remember opening the all-too familiar door. But there she was, looking at herself in the mirror. She slowly took of her dress and sat down in the tub. It was as if nothing had changed. She took a hold of the glass and carefully took out one of the blades.

The routine was still there. Drops of red smudged the clean white tub. The pain was there, but Amy knew that it would soon fade. Then the relief came.

**She let the water run and tried not to think about what she'd just done.**

_Alright, this marks the end of my first venture into the wonderful world that is fanfic. I'll be picking up the story where it left of in about a month or so. I'm still not sure which ending I'm going to build upon, so feel free to send me some suggestions. In the meantime I'll be posting some oneshots based on some requests I've seen, so if you liked this story you should probably check those out too ;)_

_And now, for the last time: Thanks to everyone who read, commented, favorited or followed my story. It means a lot, it really does. Without the response from you I would probably have never been able to keep writing. _


	15. An ending, for good this time

_**A/N**_

_So, after my month-long break I've started writing again, but I just couldn't continue this story. I'm not sure why, but I do feel like I've told the story I wanted to tell with this fic, and while I know that this may disappoint some of you, I've decided to end this story. _

_The plans I originally had will probably still end up in another fic one day, but for the time being I'm focusing on school and occasionally updating "Countdown" , which has gotten unexpectedly good reviews._

_Once again, I am truly sorry if you were still hoping for more chapters, and I am really grateful for all the suggestions and reviews I've gotten up until now. I might incorporate some of those suggestions into "Countdown" or something else I might write in the future. For now though, this marks the end of my first (but hopefully not last) story._

_If you still have some questions about this story, feel free to PM me, and I will get back to you as soon as possible._

_-Sk1dr0we_


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